Lesson 1 of 6 · 8 min
Signs your child is ready to start
Goal: Spot the signs of readiness and pick a gentle first step
Some of the children in your toddler's childcare class have moved to underwear. At the void deck, another parent mentions her boy was out of nappies before he turned two. Now it's 7pm, you're changing another nappy, and you're wondering if you've left it too late.
There's no deadline. Readiness matters more than the calendar. This lesson shows you what to look for, and how to start gently.
Look for a pattern, not a score. Signs to watch for: interest in the bathroom, noticing a wet or dirty nappy, a word or gesture for needing to go, and joining in simple steps like pulling shorts down with help. These don't all arrive at once. Start from what your child can do now. Over a few ordinary days, notice two signals, like a pause in play, a wriggle, or telling you after. A birthday, a childcare class or another child's progress doesn't tell you your child is ready.
Give them the words. Pick simple, calm words for pee, poo and the toilet, and ask every adult at home to use the same ones. If Ah Ma or your helper uses another language, agree the words in that language too. A child may understand the idea but still need help noticing the feeling in time, stopping play, or getting clothes down. For a child with limited speech, a gesture or picture card works.
Gentle first steps
- Use the same word for pee and poo at every nappy change.
- Show your child where the potty or toilet is.
- Let them sit on it with clothes on, if they want to.
- Check they're comfortable with the room, the potty and the flush sound.
What to say
At a nappy change
Say
- Your nappy is wet. That's pee.
- The potty is here whenever you want to try it.
- You can just sit on it with your clothes on, if you like.
Avoid
- Big boys don't wear nappies.
- Your cousin can do it already.
What would you do?
Jun is nearly three. He tells you after he's peed, but cries when you sit him on the potty. What do you try?
Keep him sitting for a few minutes so he gets used to it
You want him to get familiar with it, which makes sense. But keeping him there while he's crying can make the potty feel scary. Let him get up and try a gentler step.
Keep using the words, let him sit with clothes on, and offer again in a few days
Telling you afterwards is real progress. Building comfort and words first gives him a good base, with no deadline.
Put the potty away and try again in a month
A break is fine if he's very upset, and waiting feels easier. But telling you afterwards is progress already. Keep the words and the clothes-on sitting going, so that progress isn't lost.
Quick check
What should decide your child's next step?
Show the answer
What they're comfortable with and the signs you've noticed
The age range is a rough guide, not a deadline. Children pick up the different skills at different times, so start from where your child is.
Quick check
Your child knows the word "pee" but still tells you afterwards. What does that tell you?
Show the answer
They understand the idea, and still need help noticing the feeling in time
Understanding comes before noticing the feeling early. Keep the words going and offer help. Telling you after is a step forward.
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What the rest of the course covers
- Lesson 2: a safe setup: a steady potty, clothes your child can manage, and words every adult uses.
- Lesson 3: offer the toilet at natural moments, and accept a no.
- Lesson 4: calm words and a change kit for accidents, and when an accident means seeing a doctor.
- Lesson 5: painful poo and holding it in: what to do, and when to get help.
- Lesson 6: one plan with childcare and family, outings, and when to take a break.
Remember
Comfort and communication guide the next step, not the calendar.
Try this week
For 3 days, use the same calm word at every nappy change, and notice what your child is comfortable with, without keeping score.
Sources
- Toilet training (opens in a new tab), Families for Life. Checked 19 October 2026.
- Potty training readiness: Thinking, language and developmental milestones (opens in a new tab), American Academy of Pediatrics. Checked 19 October 2026.
- Constipation in children (opens in a new tab), Health Promotion Board / HealthHub. Checked 19 October 2026.
- Urinary tract infection in children (opens in a new tab), KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital. Checked 19 October 2026.